Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Eat Like A King

My friend Hannah left me a comment on here about a different approach to "dieting". Eat like a king for breakfast, a prince for lunch, a pauper for dinner.

Essentially, one would eat a big breakfast with protein and fruit, a medium lunch with lots of veggies and a very small dinner. I think I'm going to try it out. I hadn't really decided what I was going to be doing this go around. I was thinking of going the smoothie route in the morning, followed by a sensible lunch and a normal dinner. But, when I do things like that I notice that I'm STARVING throughout the day and I end up eating more because of it. And, I really don't want to count points or calories or anything really. I'm kind of over that. I just want to eat without doing math. :) So, why not try this approach for a bit and see how it goes? I'm starting today, so we'll see if I'm not as hungry as normal.

Yesterday I didn't do the king, prince pauper thing and I noticed that I was hungry all day . I ate a packet of oatmeal in the morning, then some cutie oranges for a snack. Then for lunch I had some turkey rice soup and a couple crackers. Then I was still hungry at like 1pm, so I made a couple of tortilla wraps that I shared with my kids. Then I ate dinner, which was potatoes with kielbasa and then some cabbage and bread. And I ate a cupcake after dinner. But, I was hungry all day until dinner, and I ate way too much at dinner time. Lately I've been on a cupcake making kick. Which I find to be a lot of fun, and I try to give away most of the cupcakes that I make, but I still end up eating a few of them. You have to taste what you create, right? I don't really want to stop making cupcakes, because I really enjoy making them and seeing what combos turn out well and if I can create something as good as a cupcake bakery. And, it's not like I'm making cupcakes everyday, just every now and then.

I'm rambling. Anyway, today I'm starting fresh with the eat like a king "diet". I hope this will be my key to success. We shall see.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Real Weigh-In

So, I weighed myself this morning before eating and before getting dressed, which is how I normally weigh myself for weigh-ins. My real weight is 285. So, I've kept off 15 lbs and gained back 20 lbs. Okay... I can do this. I can get back on track and lose these 20 lbs and get back to where I was and keep on going. I'm doing better already. I made better choices at dinner last night and didn't go crazy on breakfast this morning. I ended up eating some oatmeal since I was freeeeeezing.

Today I'm going to start back up with some exercise. I don't have my kinect set up right now because we have Christmas decorations up where the kinect normally is. So, I'll just do a video or something. But, I'm going to get back on track and take care of this.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Wake-Up Call

This was just taken a couple of days ago. Yes, I've gained a ton of weight back. No, this isn't a sweater I would normally wear. We were at an ugly sweater party and I borrowed one of my mother-in-law's Christmas sweaters. Maybe it just isn't that flattering on me. But, really look at my face, it's really fat and my entire body is swelled up. I knew that things weren't going that great. I haven't been caring what I've been eating lately, which is horrible. But, I didn't realize it was this bad. The last time I got on the scale I wasn't that much heavier than before. I'm pretty sure I had managed to only gain back 6 lbs at the time. But now... Oh man. Granted, I am finishing up "that time of the month" and I got on the scale after eating and with clothes on, it read 290. oh man. I've successfully gained back all but ten pounds that I had lost before. WHAT THE HECK!? Someone slap me now. Please. I'll be weighing myself in the morning tomorrow to see what my true weight is, but I don't expect it to be much different from what I saw today.

So, thank you to my friend that took this picture of me and my husband. I needed the wake-up call. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing this time around. And honestly, the idea of watching what I eat during Christmas is less than appealing to me. I want to be able to enjoy all of the treats. But, I guess I have to remind myself that some things are more important than eating treats. I'm thinking that for now I'm going to drink a smoothie in the morning, then a light lunch and a normal dinner, without the seconds that I've once again become accustomed to. And I'll try to stay away from the treats, but I'm going to be honest here. I will probably eat them, because it's Christmastime, but I'll try my hardest to stay sensible. Say a prayer for me. I really need them. This is something that I have to do. I can't keep living like this.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I feel like I'm drowning.

Yep, that's a good way to describe how I've been feeling. Overwhelmed, tired, slightly depressed and many other things. This summer has been incredibly hard. My six year old is over the top and drives me insane. To deal with it I eat. It's just what I do. Then every time I see someone that knows I'm supposed to be losing weight and they bring it up and I just say that I'm taking a little break right now and I feel like a pile of crap. So many people have been here for me to cheer me on and I feel like a complete failure. Ugh... I just want to scream.

So, I finally stepped on the scale today after heaven knows how long since I last weighed in. Expecting the scale to read somewhere near 300 lbs again. Yeah, it's been that bad. sigh.... But, it only read 271 lbs to my complete and udder amazement. I have no idea how I've managed to keep off 29 lbs. What?? Really? Yeah, I've gained back some weight, but only 6 lbs since I last weighed in on the blog. Really? Wow. That's all I can say. It's a miracle.

So, I'm back. I'm not going to be crazy obsessed with losing weight this time. I don't want to get burned out like I did before. But, I'm going to try really hard to just eat like a normal person. No seconds or thirds. If I want a treat I'll have it, I just won't have as much. So, that's my new approach for now. I'm not sure when I'll weigh in next. I just want to concentrate right now on feeling better mentally and emotionally. Thankfully school starts in one week and I'll have a little less stress when that happens. So, I'm back.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Oh What A Feeling!!

I went and weighed in at my weight watchers meeting today instead of tomorrow because Todd works late tomorrow and they happened to have an early meeting on Wednesday that I was able to make. So, Todd picked up Brandon from school today while I went to my meeting and I was back in time for him to leave for work. I also snuck in a quick trip to the store for the last few things I needed for Brandon's birthday party on Saturday.

So, the weigh in.... After 5 full days of being on the new points+ program, and having my monthly visitor come visit me, AND having Brandon's birthday yesterday, I weighed in today at.... 267.8 lbs. Now, last week I went at 8pm to weigh in and this week I weighed in at 11:15am, so I'm not sure how accurate those number truly are, but I'll take a 6 lb loss however I can get it! :D

Yesterday for Brandon's birthday we went to a local pizza place that also has an arcade and a big play area for the kids to play in. This place usually means for me: eating at least 4 pieces of supreme pizza, probably ordering some tator tots for the kids, but eating a ton even though they are "for the kids" and then my husband usually wanting to order chicken wings too, which of course I have to eat at least two of those. But, yesterday we got a sausage pizza (Brandon's favorite), with only one topping that cuts the calories quite a bit. And we also ordered a HUGE salad. Which we also got light dressing for. So, I ate tons of salad and 1 1/2 slices of pizza, which I squeezed a lot of the grease out of. Not too shabby. :) Then we brought a cake that I had made for his birthday, which I frosted with cool whip light, so it had less calories and fat then a normal frosting. It was tasty and I ate my fair share of a slice. Then we went to the movies, where I didn't eat one bite of popcorn, I only had a caramel apple lollipop, which is only 2 points+. After the movie we went out for dinner to 5 Guys Burgers, where I'd normally get a bacon cheeseburger, which happens to have 2 patties on it. Instead I got a little bacon burger, only one patty, two slices of bacon and no cheese. I only ate half of the bun and enjoyed my burger a lot! And, the biggest victory for me this week also happened at dinner last night. I'm a HUGE french fry lover, and I only ate 1 fry last night, which I patted all of the grease off of. Only ONE! This is a big deal for me!

By the end of the day, I had eaten 23 points+ more than my normal daily allowance, but the great thing about the points+ plan is that I get an additional 49 points+ each week that I can use whenever I want! So, even though I did eat a lot yesterday, I still stayed within my limits for the day/week. :) I'm calling yesterday a success, and I'm calling these past 5 days a success too!

It's a great feeling to be back on track, and a wonderful feeling to be back in the 260's! I can't wait to weigh in next week. Oh, and the new at home scale still hasn't gotten here, so I'll update my at home weight when it does get here.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

It's A New Day!

So, I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday night. I'm really glad that I did too. I'm completely excited about starting the new program and using points+ instead of the old points system that I was doing.

I'll no longer be tracking my food here on my blog, because now I'm using eTools, on weightwatchers.com and it tracks everything for me over there. But, I am tracking, and I am staying on plan. With the new plan all fruits and most veggies are 0 points, plus I now get to have 40 points a day instead of the 34 that I was allowed before.

On a sad note, I did gain some weight since I've last weighed in. I weighed in on Thursday night at 8 pm at 273.8 lbs. So, I gained back almost 8 lbs. But, that was at night, and I never weigh at night, when I'm at home, and I was wearing clothes. I still haven't gotten my new scale in the mail yet, I had to order it on Amazon and it hasn't gotten here yet. But, when I do get it I'll weigh first thing in the morning to get a more accurate weight. Then, I'll let you know how much I really did gain back.

But, I'm excited about having a rejuvenated attitude towards losing this weight. I'm glad that I didn't let myself fall off track for too long. I recognized that things weren't going like they should and I fixed it in a pretty fast manner. Previously I've always pretty easily gotten to that 30 lbs lost mark and that's pretty much where I always stray. And, I saw that happening again and I didn't want that to be my fate this time. So, I'm so thankful that I was able to nip things in the bud and get things rolling again. Maybe I will be able to reach my 50 lb goal by May 31st. Maybe not, but still, I'm on the right track. I'm not trying to lose this weight in a super fast pace, I just want it gone, no matter how long it takes me.

Thank you so much to all of my wonderful friends that have helped me so much throughout this past week. Thank you, I love you all.

I'll be weighing in on Thursday at my next WW meeting, but hopefully I'll be able to weigh in at home a bit sooner than that and update things on here then.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

4/28/11 Food

green smoothie: 7 pts
hard boiled egg: 2 pts
multi-grain chips w/ salsa: 3 pts
garden burger in an english muffin: 3 pts
cherry tomatoes: 0 pts
fiber one brownie: 2 pts
sourdough bread: 1 pt

total points: 18

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I need a little help

I'm having major issues with staying on track. Which, is something that I talked about the other day. I was hoping to just get right back into the swing of things, but it's been really hard. I'm having issues with sweets mostly. And eating things until the point of being sick. I don't really want to do that to myself, but I do have a food addiction. My brain has a hard time knowing when to stop. This might sound really stupid to most people that don't abuse food, and I understand that. But, let's compare it to an alcoholic. They know that alcohol isn't good for them, but they just continue drinking, not because they really want to, but because their brain tells them that they need it. And, it tastes good, gives them that temporary high, and that makes them continue drinking more and more. So, that's how some foods are for me. The hard thing with food is that I just can't completely get rid of it and be done. I HAVE to eat everyday, multiple times a day. So, in a sense, a food addiction is probably one of the hardest to get under control. I've been lucky enough to never have issues with drugs or alcohol, since none of those things have ever even entered my body. But, food is my drug. Candy is my drug. Cookies are my drug. Peanut butter is my drug, especially when mixed with chocolate.

I might just be a little hormonal right now, since it's almost that time of the month for me. But, that's just how I'm feeling right now. A little overwhelmed. A little out of control. Just overall blah... I'm thinking that I need a bit more support, so I'm thinking that I want to start going to weight watchers meetings and start following the new points plus plan. That will give me even another source of accountability. And it will give me a lot more support. Not to mention it will boost my motivation. So, I think I want to start that. Now to just get my husband to get on board with letting me do that. I did received a nice card in the mail today along with a gift of money that will cover the cost of the first month and part of the second month. So, I think that is how I'd like to use that gift.

Maybe I'll try and get to a meeting tomorrow evening.....

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

4/26/11 Food

egg sandwich: 7 pts

total points: 7

Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm Alive!

I have no explanation for why I haven't been posting for the last month...
I got tired or counting points, so I quit. I tried to stay on track, but the last couple of weeks have gone way down hill. And, I haven't gone to my exercise class in the last month either.

But, I did try to stay on track, with the exception of the last couple of weeks and I have been using my new kinect to do zumba and the dance game. And, the last time I weighed myself I was down 34 lbs, but that was before my two week binge-fest.

My scale broke, I'm not sure if the batteries need to be replaced or if it's just garbage now, so I'll get my husband to get new batteries today and see if that fixes it, if not then I'll be going to get a new one tomorrow. So, as of right now I have no idea how much I've gained back. sigh......

But, I'm back. I'm going to start tracking my food again. I'm going to try and get some sort of exercise in everyday. I need to do this. Please, give me your support. And, thank you to those of you that have been nudging me along. I really need it. Really, really need it.

4/25/11 Food

green smoothie w/ blueberries, strawberries, spinach, chobani yogurt & orange juice: 6 pts
bread w/ butter: 3 pts
salad w/ egg & bacon: 9 pts
small peanut butter egg: 2 pts
yogurt: 3 pts
90 cal fiber one brownie: 2 pts
leftovers: 12 pts

total points: 37

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Week 11 Weigh-In

269, 269!! I'm out of that slump that held me back for three weeks! Not to mention that I'm out of the 270's, and I've officially lost my 10% AND I've lost 31 lbs!! What a relief!!

This week was a lot better for me, if you couldn't already tell. I may not have written down everything that I ate, here on the blog. But, I watched what I ate and exercised two times. I also went and got my kinect and xbox, but I still haven't tried to set it up yet. I've just been too busy with stuff going on. I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to figure that out tomorrow after church.

I don't have much time today for posting, we're heading out the door to go to a car show. But, I just wanted to stop in and update with my loss for the week! 269 is a great number, I'm SO happy to be out of the 270's!! I'm hoping for another two pound loss this week. And I'm hoping to be able to get a bit more exercise in this next week than I did this week.

Friday, March 18, 2011

3/18/11 Food

lara bar: 5 pts

points used: 5
points left: 28

water: 16 oz.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

3/15/11 Food

egg scramble & toast: 7 pts
half pbj sandwich: 8 pts
baked potato: 3 pts
rice w/ chicken and green beans: 15

points used: 33
points left: 0

water: 75 oz.

Monday, March 14, 2011

3/14/11 Food

fiber bar: 2 pts
pizza & salad: 20 pts
small burrito: 10 pts

points used: 32
points left: 1
water: 100 oz.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Week 10 Weigh-In

What a week, what a week. Last Saturday I weighed in at 271, then on Monday I got on the scale to see how things were going, I was so excited to see that I was down to 270, the official 30 lbs were gone! Then, Tuesday was my birthday and I didn't hold back on my eating. Something that I now regret. For breakfast that day I just ate a fiber bar, because I knew what was about to go down that day. For lunch we went to the best Mexican hole-in-the-wall place, which is a good 45 minutes from where we live, and never really get to go to. I had a burrito and a taco. That was the first mess up, I should have just stuck with the burrito. Then we did a lot of walking around and by dinner time we went to Red Lobster. Where I had lobster tail (dipped in butter of course), shrimp with a butter sauce, baked potato with butter and sour cream (the real stuff), lobster nachos, biscuits, salad..... Just a lot of FAT! ugh.... Trust me, it was so good when I was eating it and I didn't eat my entire dinner, but still. I should have just stuck with fish and steamed veggies, which is what i was going to eat, but then I thought, "hey, it's only your birthday once a year, why not?!"... ugh. Then when we got home, I had two cakes because I made one for myself and then my mother in law made one, which I didn't know about until after I made the other one. So, I proceeded to eat two slices of each. Yeah. WHAT THE HECK? Anyway, the past is the past, I can't go back. We got rid of the cakes and my kids ate my leftovers from that dinner the next day for lunch.

I got on the scale on Wednesday, dreading what I might see. 276 popped up. UGH! 276??!! I just gained 5 lbs in one day. Then throughout the week I kept checking to see how things were going. By Friday, I was back down to 271 and I tried to stay good so that I could have a good number for today's weigh in. Hoping and wishing that I would see that 270 number again, this morning I get on the scale to see...271. For the THIRD week in a row, I'm at this stupid number. 271....I hate you, 271. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. The worst part is that I can't really blame it on a plateau, this is all MY doing.

So, I'm pledging to myself today. Pledging to try my hardest. To make better choices. To lose this flippin' pound! Right now, as I type this my husband and boys are sitting eating bacon, eggs and grits for breakfast. I'm opting for a smoothie instead. I can do this, I know I can.

3/12/11 Food

blah...

green smoothie: 5 pts
fiberfull bar: 0 pts (!)
see's lollipop: 2 pts
leftovers: 15 pts
moose burger & oven fries: 11 pts

points used: 33
points left: 0
water: 100 oz.

Friday, March 11, 2011

3/11/11 Food

toast w/ peanut butter: 5 pts
banana: 2 pts
apple spice herbal tea: 0 pts
chicken sausage: 2 pts
salad greens: 0 pts
salad dressing: 3 pts
almonds: 4 pts
strawberries w/ whipped cream: 2 pts
beef, rice and bean burritos: 15

total points used: 33
points left: 0

water drank: 80 oz.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

3/10/11 Food

breakfast burrito: 8 pts
reeses pieces eggs: 2 pts
potato straws: 3 pts
potatoes, gravy & chicken: 8 pts
bread: 4 pts
salad: 4 pts
soup: 4 pts

points used: 33
points left for the day: 0

water drank: 75 oz.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

3/9/11 Food

apple lara bar: 4 pts
orange: 1 pt
breakfast burritos: 9 pts
meat stick: 2 pts
biscuit: 3 pts
cabbage roll casserole: 5 pts
cheese stick: 1 pts
chicken, potatoes & veggies: 7 pts

total points: 33

water: 125 oz.

exercise: 1 hour class

Monday, March 7, 2011

3/7/11 Food

cereal w/ milk: 8 pts
2 bean burritos: 10 pts
flat bread crisps: 2 pts
cabbage roll casserole: 10 pts
yellow squash: 0 pts
m&ms: 4 pts

total points: 34

water: 85 oz.

exercise: 1 hour class

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Week 9 Weigh-In

Today is another weigh-in, time to check in to see how I've done this week. I must admit that this week wasn't the best for me. I did exercise once, but not the three times that I was wanting to do. I tried to stay within my points most days, but had a couple of slip-ups this week. Not to mention that my monthly visitor has been here since Sunday. Which automatically makes me gain 3 lbs no matter what I do. *sigh*. I stepped on the scale on Wednesday to see how things were going, to see that I was up to 274. Then I got on this morning, for my official weekly weigh-in to see that I'm back down to 271. So, no loss this week, but no gain this week either. My hopes for that one pound loss are still there, not achieved yet. This first 10% has been more difficult to achieve than I'd like to admit!

I'd like someone to please slap me. Get my mind back on track. I've kind of reverted back to my overeating ways. Sure, I'm not overeating and binging on candy and crap. But, it's still not good to overeat, no matter what it is. I've been having a hard time staying on track and reminding myself that I don't need to eat so much food. One serving is enough, there is no need to go back for the seconds. There is no need to snacking mindlessly, even if you are snacking on healthy things.

I've also become a lot more relaxed when it comes to counting and tracking my points. Which is something that I mentioned last week that I wanted to work on. I've been trying to spend less time on the computer, which means less time that I have to track everything down. So, this week I'm going to track online when I can and the rest of the time I'm going to keep a little paper with everything that I ate.

Let's hope that this week I can get that dang 1 lb gone. I've got 20 more pounds that I need to lose by May 31st to stay on track with my goal of losing 50 lbs for my challenge. I have about 3 weeks left in this month and would like to lose 10 lbs it at all possible. I've got my birthday on Tuesday, so I know that I'll have cake that will be eaten and we're planning on going to Red Lobster for dinner. So, I'll just need to remind myself that I need to keep on track that day.

Hoping for that official 10% gone by next week!

3/5/11 Food

miso soup: 4 pts
banana: 2 pts
peanut butter: 2 pts
homemade pizza: 8 pts
milk: 3 pts
popchips: 1 pt

total points: 20

water: 1 glass

Friday, March 4, 2011

3/4/11 Food

oatmeal: 7 pts
leftovers: 14 pts
homemade pizza: 11 pts
dried apples: 2 pts

total points: 34

water: 8 glasses

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

3/2/11 Food

egg & leftover rice: 7 pts
orange: 1 pt
potato: 7 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts
chocolate: 2 pts

total points: 19

water: 4 bottles

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

3/1/11 Food

eggs with potatoes: 6 pts
pear: 1 pt
soup: 1 pt
bread stick: 5 pts
pasta: 8 pts
rice w/gandules: 14

total points: 35

water: 8 glasses

Monday, February 28, 2011

Week 8 Weigh-In

I didn't have the time to post on Saturday about my weigh in. I was just busy getting things done around the house and never had the time to sit down and post anything. I lost another pound last week, bringing my weight loss up to a total of 29 lbs now! I'm now at 271 lbs, almost at that 10% that I've been wanting to get to for the past few weeks. I know it's my fault that things haven't been going as fast as they should be. But, at least I lost and didn't gain.

I've been under a bit of stress for the past few weeks. Ugh... When I get stressed I usually have a ticking eye or something like that. It's actually kind of funny, in an annoying way. These past couple of weeks my neck has been twitching. Which is not very fun. All of this stress comes from stressing out over bills and money crap. People with money never have to stress about that, but those without any sure do! And I don't really like to put the stress on my husband, so I usually just keep to myself and don't tell him what's really going on. Even though he knows that we're pinching pennies really hard, until they scream usually. He doesn't really know everything. I had to use the $100 that I had saved up for the kinect to buy groceries and gas. So, I haven't been able to go out and buy that yet. Even though I really want to go get it. I'm thinking that it will be bought on my birthday. By then we'll have our tax return money back hopefully, so I'll be able to use the money that my friends raised and then use a bit of the tax money to finally go out and get it! I really need to get some exercise in, so that will be super nice to have!!

Speaking of exercise, I haven't been going to aerobics class lately. Again, it's due to money. With gas being so expensive and driving a gas guzzler, I have had to make the choice to either have the gas to pick up my son from school every day or not. I haven't had the luxury of being able to drive out that way twice a day, three times a week for the past couple of weeks now. And then I've just let my days slip by without getting in any other kind of exercise. No excuses, just a bit of an explanation as to why I haven't been to aerobics class lately. I'm not giving up on it, I've wanted to go. I just don't want people to think that I'm a failure and give up.

My goals for this week are to track my foods better. I also want to do some sort of exercise at least three times this week. And to lose one more pound this week to bring me up to 30 lbs lost and an official 10% lost. I really hope I can pull that off!

2/28/11 Food

smoothie: 5 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts
leftover chicken alfredo with pasta: 8 pts
salad: 3 pts
pear: 1 pt
roll: 4 pts
green beans: 1 pt
pasta bake: 10 pts
pudding: 3 pts

total points: 37

water: 8 glasses

Thursday, February 24, 2011

2/24/11 Food

cereal w/ milk: 5 pts
apple: 2 pts
bread: 3 pts
100 calorie pack: 2 pts
lentils & brown rice: 8 pts
almonds: 2 pts

total points: 22

water: 4 glasses

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

2/23/11 Food

scrambled eggs w/ cheese: 5 pts
toast: 5 pts
jam: 1 pt
leftover pot roast: 10 pts
elk pot pie: 8 pts
homemade rye bread: 3 pts
apple "pie": 4 pts

total points: 34

water: 10 glasses

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

2/22/11 Food

small glass of green smoothie: 2 pts
eggs: 4 pts
homemade pizza: 10 pts
homemade tapioca pudding: 6 pts
popcorn: 2 pts
chicken & veggie w/ noodle stir-fry: 10 pts

total points: 34

water: 10 glasses

Monday, February 21, 2011

2/21/11 Food

green smoothie: 5 pts
wrap: 3 pts
shepard's pie, bread: 6 pts
elk pot roast with veggies: 10 pts
bread & jam: 6 pts

total points: 30

water: 9 glasses

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Non-Scale Victories!

Yesterday we went to Texas Roadhouse for my husband's birthday dinner. I can never understand why restaurant booths are so small. You'd think that a good amount of the restaurant's business comes from overweight people. But yet, the booths are so small that they are hard to fit in if you are pretty overweight. I know that a lot of people probably would never think of this. They probably just go ahead and sit down in the booth, not thinking twice about how they'll feel once seated, or if they'll even be able to fit in the booth. But, that's been a concern of mine for quite a long time. Texas Roadhouse is one of the restaurants that I've had issues with in the past. I've previously had to ask the server to please get us a different table because I can't fit in their booths. It's really embarrassing, to say the least. Last night as our hostess was walking us to our table I dreaded it when she headed the way of all of the booths. In my head thinking, I would be so incredibly uncomfortable all dinner. Or that I wouldn't fit in the booth. But, as I sat down I noticed something. I actually fit in the booth, with two inches (which is big for me!) of space between my stomach and the table! I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I was actually really comfortable. I'm so incredibly excited about that and it makes me want to keep going more and more!!

That's not the only non-scale victory that I've had in the past 24 hours though. After making my husband the most delicious cake known to man, we had our servings last night for his birthday and then today I took the leftovers to our neighbor across the street. Goodbye temptations. I'm stronger than you cake! So, it's been a pretty great last couple of days as far as non-scale victories go! I look forward to seeing more in the months to come!

2/20/11 Food

cereal with milk: 5 pts
chicken leftovers: 11 pts
soup: 3 pts
roll: 3 pts
ww cookie: 1 pt
shepard's pie: 10 pts

total points: 33 pts

water: 5 glasses

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Week 7 Weigh-In

This week's weigh-in wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but at least I lost a little bit of weight. I weighed in today at 272 lbs. One pound lost for this week. Not the three pounds that I was hoping for, but at least it was a loss! I didn't eat as well as I could have and I only exercised once. So, I need to kick things up a notch for this week.

Today is my husband's birthday, so I won't be really counting points today. I'm sure that I'll go over a bit. But, that's ok. Tomorrow I'll be back on track!

Have a great week everyone!

2/19/11 Food

Today is my husband's birthday, so I'm taking a day off of counting. I'm still making things healthy. :)

eggs, biscuit, sausage gravy, hash browns, milk: 14 pts
peanut butter frosting: 3 pts

total points: 17 pts

water:

Friday, February 18, 2011

2/18/11 Food

egg: 2 pts
potato: 3 pts
bacon: 1 pt
bread: 1 pt
lemon chicken and rice: 7 pts
100 cal pack: 2 pts
2 pieces of see's chocolate: 4 pts
potato: 5 pts
rice and venison meat: 9 pts

total points: 34 pts

water: 10 glasses

Thursday, February 17, 2011

2/17/11 Food

2 eggs: 4 pts
mushrooms and tomatoes: 0 pts
cheese: 2 pts
rice and beans: 10 pts
homemade pudding: 5 pts
homemade wheat bread: 3 pts
pasta with sauce and sausage: 8 pts
salad: 2 pts

total points: 34

water: 9 glasses

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

2/16/11 Food

egg, bacon, bread: 8 pts
rice & beans: 10 pts
1/2 peanut butter sandwich: 3 pts
lemon chicken, rice, green beans: 10 pts
homemade sugar free pudding: 4 pts

total points: 35

water: 10 glasses

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

2/15/11 Food

bread: 3 pts
potato w/ salsa: 4 pts
turkey sandwich: 5 pts
popchips: 2 pts
see's chocolate: 2 pts
chicken: 5 pts
broccoli: 0 pts
potatoes: 3 pts
bread: 2 pts
milk: 4 pts

total: 30 pts

water: 5 glasses

Monday, February 14, 2011

2/14/11 Food

minneola (orange): 1 pt
banana: 2 pts
peanut butter: 2 pts
flatout wrap: 1 pt
ham meat: 1 pt
cheese: 2 pts
lettuce & tomato: 0 pts
bread w/ peanut butter: 4 pts
pizza: 4 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts
valentine's dinner: WAY TOO MANY POINTS! :)
steak, baked potato, salad, bread, sparkling apple cider & cheesecake. all made at home.

total: I didn't count dinner, but I'm sure I was over. :)
water: 10 glasses

exercise: 1 hour aerobics

Sunday, February 13, 2011

2/13/11 Food

cereal w/ milk: 4 pts
strawberries: 1 pts
vegetable curry w/ rice: 6 pts
chicken: 3 pts
milk: 4 pts
ww cookie: 1 pt
rice & beans: 10 pts
tilapia: 3 pts
bread: 2 pts

total points: 34

water: 9 glasses

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Week 6 Weigh-In

This morning I went to go volunteer at the Bountiful Baskets site where I get my veggies and fruits, so I haven't been able to post my weigh-in yet today. I had lots of fun volunteering and got a nice little work-out in doing it! Not to mention that I got to choose which basket I wanted and I got a couple of extras for helping out! I thought that was very well worth my time!

So, I weighed in this morning before I left. Hoping to see a bit of a loss this week, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I met my goal for this week of losing 3 lbs!! The scale said 273 this morning, bringing my total loss up to 27 lbs! In only 6 weeks, I've almost gotten to 10% of my weight gone! I'm really hoping to lose another 3 lbs this week to officially get to that 10% mark.

I'm feeling a lot lighter lately. I've got a bit more of a spring to my step. My clothes are getting loose and I'm liking my reflection in the mirror a lot more these days. But, by far the biggest and most fantastic thing that I'm loving form losing this weight is that I'm inspiring other people to get healthy too. If I can do it, so can you. And if I inspire you, just imagine how many people you could inspire. What a wonderful feeling!! It's even better than cookies! :)

2/12/11 Food

banana: 2 pts
milk: 2 pts
blueberry bread: 2 pts
salad: 8 pts
sugar free chocolate pudding: 2 pts
apple: 2 pts
ham lunch meat: 1 pt
vegetable curry over rice: 10 pts
100 calorie pack: 2 pts

total points: 31

water: 8 glasses

Friday, February 11, 2011

2/11/11

egg whites: 2 pts
bacon: 1 pt
banana: 2 pts
peanuts: 3 pts
popchips: 2 pts
leftover pasta: 5 pts
green beans: 0 pts
chocolate sugar free pudding: 2 pts
pear: 2 pts
homemade shrimp wonton soup: 6 pts
small slice blueberry bread: 3 pts
chocolate sugar free pudding: 1 pt

total points: 29

water: 8 glasses

Thursday, February 10, 2011

2/10/11 Food

1 egg: 2 pts
1 slice bacon: 1 pt
bread: 2 pts
100 calorie pack: 2 pts
chicken chili leftovers: 5 pts
salad: 9 pts
ww cookie: 1 pt
fiber bar: 2 pts
whole wheat pasta with sauce: 10 pts

total points: 34

water: 8 glasses

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Progress Pictures

I felt like taking some pictures this morning after I got home from my aerobics class, so I had my husband snap some really quick. This is me at 276 lbs, after working out, no makeup or anything.


I'm starting to see a little bit of difference! And the other day I was actually able to wear a shirt that I haven't been able to get buttoned in a LONG time! My pants are starting to get loose, but I'm not down a size yet. This is so encouraging and exciting!

This front shot isn't the most flattering, but whatever. It's what I look like. I think that the side view shows a lot more progress.

To see my other progress pictures either check out my blog header at the top of the page or scroll down and on the right side I have my other pictures posted.

2/9/11 Food

large apple: 3 pts
fiber one yogurt and wheat berries: 2 pts
bread: 3 pts
small chicken taco: 3 pts
pizza: 5 pts
100 calorie pack: 2 pts
popcorn: 2 pts
white bean chicken chili: 12 pts

total points: 32

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Emotional Eating

"If Hunger isn't the problem, than food is not the solution!"- Unknown

About a month ago or anytime before that, if you were to ask me if I was an emotional eater, I'd probably tell you I wasn't. I'd also most likely tell you that I don't snack. I truly believed that. I wasn't really trying to lie to people, but that's exactly what I was doing. Lying not only to other people, but to myself also. I've come to realize a lot about myself while on this journey so far.

Hi, my name is Kim, and I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm NOT HUNGRY! This is something that I really need to work on and I'm trying very hard to do just that. I would eat mindlessly, without even noticing what I was doing. Just because... I also have very little self control. If I see a bag of chocolate or a freshly baked batch of cookies (Hi, my name is Kim and I'm a cookie addict.) then I have a really hard time making myself eat only one piece or just one cookie. Even if I'm not really hungry for it, if I get a taste of something that I really especially love, then it will trigger that part of my brain and I have almost no control over what I'm doing. So, this needs to stop.

On Sunday a really dear kind lady that lives close to us brought over a plate of enormous cookies, along with a sympathy card. I ate half of one after church. Then I ate another half of one. Then I ate a whole one, thinking that if I ate a whole one that maybe my brain wouldn't crave them anymore. Then a few hours later I ate another whole one. By the end of the night I felt like throwing up. Like I said before, these cookies were huge, probably about a 1/4 cup or more of dough per cookie. BIG! Cookies are a big trigger food for me. They are something that I need to stay away from. And I'm coming to realize this. So please, if you know me and live close to me, don't give me cookies. Thank you. Oh, and if you do give me cookies then I'm just going to throw them away. Because I have no self control over cookies. I need to clarify also, I'm talking about homemade cookies, not store bought. So those 100 calorie packs that I got from friends recently are safe. :) Maybe if they were a bigger bag of low calorie cookies and I had to take only one serving out at a time I'd have a harder time. But since those are prepackaged in a small portion, I don't feel the need to binge on those. The same goes for chocolates too, if they are individually wrapped "fun size" pieces of chocolate, then I have control and I CAN eat just one. But, if you give me a bag of m&m's or a regular size bar of chocolate, then I have a hard time only eating a few m&m's or only one square of chocolate.

Enough about cookies and chocolate...

My point is that I do eat just for the sake of eating. And I do have trigger foods, cookies and chocolate being some of my BIG trigger foods. And I honestly can't tell you what my other trigger foods are right now. I'm learning all of this as I go. But I'm so glad that I'm discovering this about myself. And I'm going to be working on this, to help myself realize that I should only be eating when I'm truly hungry.

2/8/11 Food

egg whites: 2 pts
small bagel: 1 pt
popcorn: 2 pts
pizza: 5 pts
2 small pieces ham: 2 pts
chicken tacos: 12


total points: 24

water: 2 liters

Monday, February 7, 2011

2/7/11 Food

almonds: 1 pt
yogurt & wheat berries: 1 pt
flatout wrap: 1 pt
egg whites w/ salsa: 2 pts
ww coffee cake: 2 pts
2 breadsticks (olive garden): 6 pts
minestrone soup (olive garden): 2 pts
shrimp primavera (olive garden): 10 pts
homemade pizza: 9 pts

total points: 34

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Friday, February 4, 2011

Week 5 Weigh-In

As I said yesterday, I'm weighing in a day early this week since we'll be busy all day tomorrow with the funeral for my father-in-law. I wasn't expecting much out of this week. It's been an emotional week and I'm an emotional eater. I didn't track points for a few days and did eat a few cookies that I probably shouldn't have eaten. But, I won't dwell on that. Each day is a new day. I have no reason to stop what I'm doing. If anything, I have a much better reason to continue on this journey. I want to be around for my kids for a long, long time. I don't want my kids to have the bury me when they are still young adults. I want them to be old and gray when they have to bury us.

The scale said 276 this morning, and since I would have been completely happy with a no gain/no loss this week, you can only imagine that I was really happy to see another 1 pound loss this week! 24 lbs are gone forever! I'm almost half way to my first 50 lb goal, which I'm going to achieve by May 31st, maybe even sooner! Hurray!

Here's to a good week this next week. I'm hoping for a good 3 lb loss this week. :)

2/4/11 Food

mini bagel with ff strawberry cream cheese: 2 pts
fiber one yogurt with 1/8 cup wheat berries: 1 pt
chicken wrap: 8 pts
boca sandwich: 6 pts
salad and chicken w/ rice: 15 pts
cookie: 2 pts

total points: 34

water: 3 liters

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Feeling The Love!

Last night while at a church activity, my friends Katie and Sue presented me a wonderful gift. Katie is the one that started the "get Kim an x-box and kinect" fundraiser, and it just so happens that she raised enough to get me that x-box and kinect! So, her and Sue along with the help of Katie's mom Leora put together a box of goodies for me! I was quite surprised by it!


This is the box itself! Sue said that I'll look glamorous like that when I've completed this Journey.


And this is what is inside of the box!

Lots of yummy 100 calorie packs, one of the kinds they put in are chocolate covered pretzels! All I can say is, YUM! Three packs of Extra strawberry shortcake gum, some whole almonds, a bag of popcorn and some brown paper bags to make popcorn in the microwave with! Which I never knew you could do! 1/4 c popcorn in a bag that is folded over a few times and 2 minutes on high yields a very filling 2 pt snack! They also included a pack of weight watchers 1 pt chocolate cakes, which are so yummy! A Chicken Soup for the Soul book, some yummy sugar free candies and last but not least, the money that Katie raised to get me the x-box and kinect! How sweet is that?! Thank you again Katie for doing this for me, I really appreciate it so much!

I briefly mentioned on here that my father-in-law passed away on Sunday. Things have been pretty hard these past few days, as can be expected. I've been in a bit of a funk, but I think I'm pulling out of it now. I lost track of myself for a few days and wasn't really caring all too much about what I was eating. But, last night at the church activity I got re-inspired to get back into gear with my eating and everything. I'm so thankful for the support of my friends and the women at church. Telling everyone what I'm doing has helped me so much! It keeps me on track and inspires me to keep going. At the same time, people seeing me doing this is inspiring them to get healthier too. That's a great feeling, to be an inspiration to other people! So, I'm feeling the love, and I really appreciate it.

I'll probably be weighing in tomorrow instead of Saturday, since we'll be busy with the funeral. I'll be completely happy to maintain my weight loss this week. It's been a hectic emotional week and I think that would be amazing if I pull maintaining off this week.

2/3/11 Food

fiber one yogurt with 1/8 cup steamed wheat berries: 1 pt
leftover quiche: 4 pts
100 calorie pack of chocolate covered pretzels! (thanks katie, sue and leora): 2 pts
rice, chicken & asparagus: 7 pts
popcorn: 2 pts (thank you again to katie, sue and leora for giving me the popcorn and the paper bags to make it in the microwave! it's really yummy!)
chicken & pasta w/ a lemon sauce & broccoli: 15 pts
popcorn: 2 pts

total points: 33

water: 3.5 liter

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

2/2/11 Food

mini blueberry bagel with ff strawberry cream cheese: 2 pts
egg whites, bread & yogurt: 4 pts
bread w/ peanut butter: 5 pts
pizza wrap: 9 pts
popchips: 2 pts
ww cake: 2 pts
milk: 2 pts
quiche, coleslaw and eclair: 1o pts

total points: 36

water: 2 liters

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

2/1/11 Food

egg whites: 2 pts
bagel: 1 pt
turkey: 1 pt
pear: 1 pt
fiber bar: 2 pts
boca wrap: 3 pts
popchips: 2 pts
ww cake: 2 pts
yogurt: 0 pts
fiber bar & milk: 5 pts
soup: 3 pts
english muffin pizzas: 10 pts
ww cookie: 1 pt

total points: 34

water: 2.5 liters

Monday, January 31, 2011

1/31/11 Food

egg white sandwich: 3 pts
milk: 2 pts
coffee cake: 2 pts
orange: 1 pt
fiber one yogurt: 0 pts!!
popchips: 2 pts
crackers: 4 pts
steak: 7 pts
baked potato: 5 pts
salad: 8 pts

total points: 34

water: 2 liters

Sunday, January 30, 2011

1/30/11

I haven't been counting my foods for the past couple of days, but I've tried to stay within my points. My father-in-law passed away today.... I've got other things on my mind right now. I'll be back to tracking things tomorrow...

Saturday, January 29, 2011

1/29/11 Food

cereal w/ milk: 5 pts

total points: 5

water: 1 liter

Week 4 Weigh-In

I don't much feel like celebrating my loss this week. My father-in-law is going to be taken off of life support tomorrow. Not in much of a happy mood.

The scale said 277 today. I'm down 23 lbs altogether and 6 lbs from last week.

Next Saturday will be the funeral, so I'm not sure if I'll be posting that day.

I'm thinking a big steak dinner should be had, my father-in-law was a butcher and loved his meat. We'll be remembering him and missing him dearly.

Friday, January 28, 2011

1/28/11 Food

pancakes: 5 pts
egg: 3 pt
milk: 2 pts
pasta bake: 12 pts
chocolate: 3 pts
popchips: 2 pts
egg noodles, venison & peas: 8 pts

total points: 35

water: 2 liters

Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Few Of My Favorite Things

I'm really needing to go grocery shopping, but I've got a sick kid, so I'm not sure when that's going to happen next. I'm running out of all of my yummy staples that help me stay on track. Today I thought I would share some of the things that I've tried and liked.

First up we have Light Flat Out Flatbread, these are only 1 pt per piece and make great sandwich wraps and even pizzas! I really love them! Locally I've found them at Winco in the meat department. I'm pretty sure that Walmart carries them too.
Next up is The Laughing Cow cheese wedges. I've tried these in the Light Swiss, Light Queso Freco & Chipotle and the Light Mozzarella, sun dried tomato & basil. All of which are awesome and only 1 pt each! The Swiss variety is easiest to find out here, but some of the smaller stores carry the other flavors. I'm wanting to try the blue cheese kind next!
Another product made by The Laughing Cow that I really love are the Mini Babybel Light cheeses. I love those, they remind me of my childhood and they are only 1 pt each also! They are great to pair with a piece of fruit for a snack. These are found in the deli cheese section of most stores.
I recently won a month supply of PopChips from a blog contest. I'd never heard of them before and was so excited to see that a single serve bag is only 2 pts! They are a great treat to have for the chip lover, that doesn't want to give up chips. I really love the barbeque flavor. They are found in bigger bags at Target locally.
For fresh fruits and vegetables, I really love Bountiful Baskets. Through them I can pay $16.50 to get a ton of fresh produce! I never know what I'll get, but so far I haven't been disappointed in them. If your family eats a lot of fresh produce, it's a good idea to see if they have a pick-up site near you. They go for sale on Monday at noon and then you pick them up the following Saturday.
Another one of my favorites that I've recently discovered are Kellogg's Fiber Plus bars in the Chocolatey Peanut Butter flavor. At only 2 pts each, they really hit the spot when a chocolate craving comes up. I've been out of these for awhile now and I'm so sad. To me they taste like they have caramel in them, which I love! I find these in the granola bar section of most stores.
That's all for now, but I'm sure that I'll find more things that I love as time goes on!

1/27/11 Food

eggs with chilies: 5 pts
pear: 1 pt
pasta bake: 6 pts
salad w/ cashews & craisins: 7 pts
venison steak: 3 pts
potatoes: 3 pts
savoy cabbage: 1 pt
sugar free chocolate pudding: 4 pts

total points: 30

water: 3 liters

exercise: 35 minutes of the firm dvd

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1/26/11 Food

egg & ham: 5 pts
rice & beans 14 pts
tomato: 0 pts
popchips: 2 pts
salad w/ almonds & craisins: 6 pts
pasta bake: 8 pts

total points: 35

water: 2 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Temptations and Doubts

I keep having this fight with myself in my head. I'm thinking that my hormones are messing with me. I keep feeling like I'm cheating or not doing that well with my weight loss. Even though I'm staying within my points each day and I'm exercising when I can, I still have just not been feeling it all too much so far this week. And don't even get me started with the desire for chocolate right now. I swear, I could eat an entire big bag of peanut butter m&m's right now and not even think twice about it. Instead I just made myself a 0 pt cup of fat-free sugar-free hot chocolate.... sigh.

Anyway, I'll get over this. I just need things to get back to normal. Like I said before I've always used "this time of the month" as an excuse to binge and eat whatever I want. But, I'm not going to let that happen. I have control over my life and my choices, I just need to keep reminding myself of that! I think I'll go exercise to get my mind off of the dang chocolate!!

On another note, I had my husband take some pictures of me on Sunday before church. I was feeling especially small that day, in a dress that I haven't worn in forever.

Me on Sunday at 283 lbs

Me before at 290 lbs, I never took a picture at 300 lbs.

I'm not seeing a big difference yet, but I had someone comment to my husband that I look like I'm losing weight and that I look good. Actually I had two people comment that I looked good. :) So, I guess that there is some change happening, even if I don't see it quite yet.

1/25/11 Food

egg & ham sandwich: 11 pts
chicken & asparagus: 6 pts
chicken & black beans: 6 pts
tomato: 0 pts
ff hot chocolate: 0 pts
broccoli: 0 pts
3 hershey's drops: 1 pt
progresso light chicken noodle soup: 3 pts
bread: 5 pts

total points: 32

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 3 miles w/ leslie sanson dvd ~ about 1 hour

Monday, January 24, 2011

1/24/11 Food

egg & ham: 3 pts
granola & milk: 8 pts
pita sandwich & half a bag of popchips: 9 pts
chocolate: 2 pts
pineapple: 2 pts
chicken: 5 pts
mashed potatoes: 5 points
asparagus: 0 pts

total points: 34

water: 2 liters

exercise: 45 minutes leslie sansone dvd, 2 1/2 miles

Sunday, January 23, 2011

1/23/11 Food

pasta leftovers: 7 pts
squash: 2 pts
sandwich: 7 pts
chocolate: 3 pts
chicken tacos & black beans: 14 pts

total points: 33 pts

water: 2 liters

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Week 3 Weigh-In

Last night I got a visit from mother nature. Something that I haven't had in over a year. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy about that. At least breastfeeding for 4 months held it off for a little longer. You always have to look at the bright side, right!? So, my body is retaining water and I was sure that I would see a gain from the 5 lb loss that I saw the other day. Today I got on the scale and it said 283, so up 1 lb from that day. I'll take it though! It could be way worse! So, that means I'm down 17 lbs altogether so far! For only three weeks I'm still way excited about that!

In the past whenever I get my monthly visitor, I always have used it as an excuse to binge. To eat as much crap as I wanted. Chocolate being one of the things that I crave the worse. I noticed yesterday that I was really wanting some chocolate really bad. So, I had a 100 calorie oreo bar and that did the trick for a bit. But then at night I was really having that urge again. But, I just went to bed instead. That's a good trick that I like to use a lot. If I'm hungry at night, instead of eating something I just go to sleep instead. My body will be just fine without it, so why torture myself while being awake, just go to sleep! I won't be doing anything differently because I have pms right now, I even got up this morning and did a workout dvd. I'm determined to not let this slow things down for me. And hopefully next week I'll see a big loss since I'm retaining water right now. Like I said, you always have to look at the bright side!

17 lbs gone, hopefully I'll see the 270's next week!

1/22/11 Food

oatmeal: 2 pts
applesauce: 2 pts
raisins: 1 pt
brown sugar: 2 pts
turkey pita & popchips: 7 pts
salad: 5 pts
pasta w/ chicken, ham & broccoli: 13 pts
acorn squash: 3 pts

total points: 35 pts

water: 2 liters

exercise: 1 hour low impact dvd

Friday, January 21, 2011

1/21/11 Food

oatmeal: 2 pts
peanut butter: 2 pts
apple: 2 pts
brown sugar: 2 pts
chick patty: 3 pts
pita: 1 pt
ff ranch dressing: 1 pt
popchips: 2 pts
turkey & tomato sandwich: 7 pts
100 calorie oreo: 1 pt
chicken: 5 pts
broccoli: 0 pts
zucchini & mushrooms: 0 pts
sweet potato: 5 pts

total points: 33

water: 4 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Plan To Succeed!

I was reading a Weight Watchers article online today and it has questions that you should answer about how you'll feel or what you'll wear when you are successful in your weight loss and achieve your goals. So, I thought I'd answer those questions here today.

What can you see yourself wearing? I'd love to wear something like this to church!What kind of colors do you see? Are they different from what you’re wearing now?
I don't currently limit myself to colors. I like color and I don't really care what other people think about me in other colors, so I think I'd be wearing the same colors as I do now, just more options!

How do you seem to feel? I'm sure I'll feel a lot better physically then I do right now. I'll be able to move around easier. Be able to walk without pain in my knees. Be able to jog/run! I'll be able to feel my bones, which are currently hiding under a layer or two of fat. And I'm sure I'll like the way that I look a lot better.

Just how slim are you? Can you translate that energetic, slim person to a target weight? My ultimate goal is to lose 150 lbs. So, half of my weight. I started out at 300 lbs and would love to be 150 lbs. I don't really have a desire to be super skinny, just healthy and fit. My first goal is to lose 50 lbs by May 31st and then I'd like to lose another 50 lbs this year. Then I'll keep going for that last 50 lbs into next year. I know it will take a while to do this, but I'm fully committed.

What will be the key to your own weight loss? I've never previously exercised while losing weight. Not seriously at least. So, I think that being active and getting exercise pretty regularly will be a big key to my weight loss. I also think that writing down every little thing that I eat and sharing it on here will be a big part of my success. I also think that having the support that I've had will be a big factor in my weight loss. Having friends that are following along in my journey and that will be there to motivate me when I need it most.

How will your life have changed? What will your new perspective be? What new routines will you have? I'll still be the same me, I'll always be Kim. But, I'll just be a healthier me. My life won't be about food, I won't live to eat like I was before, I'll eat to live. I'll use it as fuel for my body, that I'll use to be a lot more active person. I'll live a longer life, without diseases that obesity causes.

What will your Tips be? Don't be afraid to change. If I can do this, anyone can!

1/20/11 Food

egg: 2 pts
small bagel: 1 pt
ham: 2 pts
tomato: 0 pts
zucchini: 0 pts
mushrooms: 0 pts
oil, 1 tsp: 1 pt
ham: 2 pts
boca pita: 4 pts
apple & banana chunks: 3 pts
peanut butter: 3 pts
popchips: 2 pts
chicken & veggie stir-fry w/ noodles: 12 pts

total points: 32

water: 3 liters

exercise: 45 minutes leslie sansone dvd~ 2.5 miles (kids cut me short)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I Cheated!!!

Not in the way you might think. ;) I weighed myself this morning and it said 282!! That is down 5 lbs from Saturday! I'm not going to update my stats just yet, since I'm not sure if the scale was wrong or what. I'll wait till Saturday for my official weigh-in to update everything. But I was so happy when I saw those numbers on my scale! Before I know it I'll be down into the 270's! I can't wait to say goodbye to the 280's! I'm trying to think about the lowest weight that I've been since having kids and I'm having a hard time remembering. I know that with my first son I weighed about 298 when I was 9 months pregnant and then after I had him I lost a lot of weight and was down to I think 250. I'm pretty sure that 250 is the lightest I've been since having children. I can't wait to get below that!!!

Everything is still going awesome, I haven't had any hiccups in my plans. I've managed to treat myself pretty regularly with sweets and what-not, but still staying within my points for the day. I think that if I deprived myself I'd eventually give up. Which, is not going to happen, so I'm happy with how I'm doing things! I'm still going to my aerobics class, and it still kicks my butt! :) My friend Katie has now raised a total of $315 towards the x-box/kinect fundraiser for me! I'm so excited about that and I'm so thankful to everyone that has donated. If anyone else would like to donate you can find the info on that on this post.

Well, my boys are out with their dad, so I better go get some stuff done! I'm looking forward to the official weigh-in on Saturday!

1/19/11 Food

oatmeal: 2 pts
pumpkin pudding: 2 pts
raisins: 1 pt
egg: 2 pts
small bagel: 1 pt
tomato: 0 pts
turkey: 1 pt
cabbage roll casserole: 8 pts
salad w/ baby shrimp: 3 pts
banana: 2 pts
peanut butter: 2 pts
fish tacos: 6 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts

total points: 32 pts

water: 3 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

1/18/11 Food

egg white & ham scramble: 6 pts
tomatoes: 0 pts
pickle: 0 pts
banana: 2 pts
bread: 4 pts
pita: 2 pts
onions: 0 pts
antelope bratwurst: 8 pts
brummel & brown: 1 pt
milk: 4 pts
chocolate: 4 pts
pumpkin pudding: 2 pts

total points: 33

water: 2.5 liters

Monday, January 17, 2011

1/17/11 Food

egg white & ham scramble: 4 pts
apple w/ peanut butter: 4 pts
smoothie: 4 pts
turkey chili w/ red. fat triscuits: 7 pts
pumpkin pudding: 2 pts
homemade whole wheat bread, 3 slices: 6 pts
brummel & brown spread: 1 pt
cabbage roll casserole: 7 pts

total points: 35

water: 3 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Sunday, January 16, 2011

1/16/11 Food

breakfast tacos: 7 pts
wrap: 4 pts
sweet potato fries: 8 pts
brownie made w/ pumpkin & applesauce: 3 pts
elk pot roast w/ potatoes & carrots: 12 pts
tiny bit of pumpkin pudding: 1 pt

total points: 35
water: 2.5 liters

Saturday, January 15, 2011

1/15/11

Two week weigh-in was today! I wasn't expecting to lose more than a pound, but I weighed in at 287, which is a 2 pound loss for the week! Yay!! I'm so happy about that! 13 pounds lost in two weeks!! That's an awesome motivator! I can't wait to see what the scale says next week!

1/15/11 Food

fat free hot chocolate: 0 pts
turkey sausage & egg white scramble: 5 pts
banana w/ peanut butter: 4 pts
light babybel & pretzels: 2 pts
whole wheat pasta w/ meat sauce: 12 pts
carne asada tacos: 10 pts
beans: 1 pt

total points: 34

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 3 miles with leslie sansone dvd

Friday, January 14, 2011

1/14/11

I had to miss my aerobics class today. :( My oldest son was up all night screaming that his ear hurt, so I had to take him into the doctors this morning. Poor little guy has an ear infection on top of a pretty bad cold. No fun! I'm actually finding that I look forward to my aerobics class and was not too happy that I had to miss it today. Which is something that you probably would never hear me say before. Me, like exercise? ha! I'm hoping that my son is all better come monday as that I can get to the class that day, but if not then I'll for sure be going on wednesday since my husband has that day off and can stay with the kids while I go. I didn't do any exercise yesterday, so I need to for sure do a DVD or something today. Hopefully there won't be too much crying about me changing the channel from cartoons to a workout DVD.

Last night I had some pretty strong urges to want to binge on some chocolate candies. But, I didn't and I'll for sure admit that it wasn't easy to make the right choices in that moment. All I could think about was sitting down with a bag full of chocolate and eating the entire thing. I had 1 pt left for the day and ate my last 1 pt weight watchers chocolate cake instead. *sigh* I guess that's what this lifestyle change is all about, making the right choices. I know I have it in me to do this and I just need to battle with my old habits and choose the right things. I can do it!

I weigh in tomorrow, week two has almost come to an end. I'll be happy if I see even a little bit of a loss. I'm not expecting anything huge like last week. Since last week I lost 11 pounds I'm thinking that 1 pound this week would even be good. But, I'm hoping that next week I'll start on the path of losing at least 2-3 pounds a week. Which will put me at about 10 pounds a month, and that will lead to my goal of losing 50 lbs by May 31st. Until tomorrow...

1/14/11 Food

pita: 1 pt
turkey meat: 2 pts
laughing cow light cheese: 1 pt
cod: 6 pts
corn tortillas: 2 pt
salsa: 0 pts
cabbage: 0 pts
avocado: 2 pt
small candy: 2 pts
banana w/ peanut butter: 4 pts
rice: 4 pts
broccoli & beef: 4 pts
chocolate pudding (sugar free): 7 pts - yeah, I ate a lot of it, but I stayed in my points!!

total points: 35

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 2 miles with leslie sansone dvd

Thursday, January 13, 2011

1/13/11

I haven't had anything super exciting to talk about in the past few days, so that's why I've only been posting my food journal. I'm now happy to report that cravings for bad things are no longer tempting me. Not that I was giving into temptation or anything like that. I just haven't had any desire for anything bad lately. That's probably because I have my fiber bars and 100 calorie oreo bars that I bought that keep the sweet tooth away, without me having to go over my points. I'm glad that things like that are available to buy. Not that I buy them that often or anything, it's just nice to have a treat every once in a while. Today at the store I saw buffalo wing ruffle's, which is something I would have immediately picked up to buy previously. My husband really loves buffalo wings and anything that is flavored like them. But, I just walked right by them, since I know that if I did bring them home I would want to try them, and you know how chips are, you can't eat just one!

I was also able to get a pair of jeans on, that are still a size 24, but I wasn't able to button them before! They are a little tight, but at least they clasped! That's a major good thing! In my closet I have sizes 24, 22 and I think one pair of size 20 jeans (that have never been worn). I can't wait to be able to buy jeans that aren't in the 20's anymore! I don't even remember the last time that I wore a smaller size than a 20. Maybe it was when I was in the sixth grade and I no longer fit the children's sizes, so I had to go up to the adult sizes and I think I wore a size 16 or 18 then. And back then it was so hard to find cute clothes in plus sizes. Everything was "grandma-ish" elastic wasted pants, just ugly! And going into jr. high isn't fun if you have to wear things that aren't cute. Thankfully plus size clothes have come a long way, but I can't wait to not have to wear them any longer. It will be nice to shop in the normal section of the store, not being limited to the few plus size clothes that stores do carry.

Back when I was a senior in high school I weighed a little over 300 pounds. I started counting calories and lost a bit of weight and then I started going to weight watchers meetings and lost even more weight. I can't remember how much I lost, but I was down enough that I was able to get into a size 20 by the time I started going to college. I never really felt differently about myself back then. I still felt like the fat girl, my inner-self was not changed. I think that changing your thinking about yourself is a big part of weight loss. You have to love yourself enough to commit to losing the weight. I know I'm there now, which I'm so thankful for. And I know that me sharing this blog with other people has been a really big motivator for me. Knowing that my sister-in-law is most likely reading this helps me, knowing that people that I see at church every week are reading this helps me, knowing that people that I've known since I was 6 are reading this helps me. Because I want to be able to see them in a year and for them to look at me and know that I did it! I didn't give up, I'm not a quitter like I might have been in the past, but that I am a loser! But in a good way of course. Also knowing that I will see these people and they know how much I weigh is a huge motivator to me. I don't really know any woman that likes other people to know how much she weighs. Now just imagine being 300 lbs and for everyone to know that you weigh that much! It's pretty embarrassing, but sometimes that's what we need to kick ourselves into gear!

Edit to add: A few hours after I wrote this I did actually want to sit down with an entire bag of chocolate and eat the whole thing. My kids were being little terrors and I eat when I'm stressed. But, I didn't. I had a 1 pt chocolate cake instead. Willpower!!!

1/13/11 Food

english muffin w/ sugar free jam: 1 pt
mushroom & egg white scramble with fat free cheese and salsa: 2 pts
milk: 3 pts
baked potato w/ salsa: 4 pts
chick patty pita: 4 pts
100 calorie oreo bar: 1 pt
pasta with meat sauce: 16 pts
salad: 3 pts
weight watchers chocolate cake: 1 pt (I really wanted to eat an entire bag of chocolate, but opted for this instead... rough night with the kids)

total points: 35

water: 3 liters

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

1/12/11 Food

low fat granola with milk: 8 pts
banana: 2 pts
light babybel cheese: 1 pt
small bagel sandwich: 3 pts
fat free hot chocolate: 0 pts
progresso light new england clam chowder: 4 pts (the can says it's 1 point for a serving, in the can there are two servings, so I thought it would be 2 pts, but when I calculated it, it says that it's really 4, whatever!)
chicken & black bean burrito: 12 pts
extra black beans: 4 pts

total points: 34

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

1/11/11

I've decided not to weigh myself everyday anymore. It's messing with my head a little too much. I think part of that is due to the fact that I have kind of a crappy scale and I'll step on it one time and it says I weigh one thing and then I'll step on it again and it says something completely different. Sometimes the numbers are 3 lbs + or -. So, I'm going to choose Saturday as my weigh in day, since last Saturday is the last time I weighed in on here. The scale hasn't changed since Saturday, I'm still at 289, so that's why I haven't marked down any other weights. Let's hope I can actually lose a pound or two this week. Maybe my weight will even out this week since I lost so much last week. I don't know. Either way, I've already met my goal of losing 10 lbs this month, so everything is still good!

I'm going to try harder to get in all of my points in each day too. I know that when I went to actual weight watchers meetings years ago, they would say that if you don't eat all of your points in a day it can actually cause your weight loss to stop. Your body will think it's starving, and it will hold on to all of the fat and you won't lose weight because of that. Makes sense to me. I haven't purposely been trying to not eat all of my points, sometimes it's just hard to remember to eat all of them. I'll work harder on that this week.

On another note, we got our new TV set up this morning. My husband has a co-worker that was getting rid of their huge TV, because they wanted to get a newer TV, so we got it for free! It's HUGE! The speakers for the thing are almost as big as the TV! And it has so many spaces to put in other electronics like a DVD player and such that we were actually able to plug in our VCR! Which we haven't been able to use for years now! So, now I have even more workout tapes to choose from! Today I did Tae-Bo and a salsa cardio workout. I didn't get through both of them, but I was for sure tired when I was done! It will be nice to have more options now!

Oh, and my friend Katie has raised $120 so far for the "Get Kim an x-box & kinect" fundraiser! I can't believe that people are supporting me so much and donating their hard-earned money to get me something that will help me exercise even more! Such amazing people! I feel so blessed to have people that care about my health so much that they would do this for me! She has set up a bank account and all donations are being collected through the bank!

If anyone would like to donate, you can write a check and make it out to Katie Cornia, in the memo line write, "Kim Hilder Donation Account". Then mail the check to:

The Bank of Commerce
PO Box X
Shelley, ID 83274

1/11/11 Food

slice of turkey lunch meat: 1 pt
egg white and mushroom omelet: 3 pts
small bagel: 1 pt I burned it in the toaster, and was to lazy to make a new one, so I went for tomato instead. :)
tomato: 0 pts
milk: 3 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts
turkey pita: 4 pts
cheese stick: 2 pts
english muffin pizzas: 7 pts
slice of turkey: 1 pt
pizza wrap: 8 pts
light babybel cheese: 1 pt
1/2 c fat free frozen yogurt: 2 pts

total points: 34

water: 4 glasses & 1 liter

exercise: 30 minutes of tae-bo & 15 minutes of salsa cardio dvds

Monday, January 10, 2011

1/10/11

This morning I went to the aerobics class again. This time I didn't use the step, I think I was kind of crazy to be using that step the very first time I went, after 9 years of not going to any type of exercise class. Everyone was kind of looking at me like I was crazy for not using it. But I know that I would end up killing myself on those things. Heck, even without the step I still couldn't keep up and didn't know all of the steps they were doing. I'll get it, but like I said, it might just take me a month or two. And I'm thinking that I'll probably be able to start using the step after about 50 lbs or more gone. I'm just too heavy for my knees to be doing that right now.

After the class I came home and got ready to leave again. My husband's father is in the hospital right now, so we went to go visit him. He's got blood clots in his liver and the doctors are saying that he probably won't live more than a year. Probably less if the clots get into his lungs. I'm not sure what they're going to try to do for him. He's 74, overweight, has major health problems. Most of which came from him being overweight. I don't want to end up like that. 74 isn't that old, I don't want to die when I'm 74, let alone earlier. Which is a main reason that I'm losing this weight. I want to be around for my kids and family. I want to be able to play with my kids on the floor or go ride bikes with them. Do things that moms should be able to do. I don't want to be limited by my weight any longer. And I especially don't want my weight to be the reason for me dieing.

After the hospital we went to Red Robin. Before I even left I checked out their website and decided what I would eat. I didn't have time this morning to eat anything for breakfast, so my first meal of the day was a chicken, bacon, guacamole sandwich without cheese or mayo. I also swapped out the fries for cantaloupe pieces. Good choice if you ask me! I originally wasn't going to eat the bacon, but since I didn't eat breakfast I ate it, I'm okay with that though. I previously would go to Red Robin and eat all of the fries plus a basket or two more shared between the family. That's a lot of fat and calories, not to mention the fry sauce that they serve with all of those fries! And I would just eat it without really thinking twice. It tasted good, so that's what I went with. I was completely satisfied with what I ate today and it's actually almost 7:30pm right now and I haven't been hungry since. I'm happy that I can go to a restaurant and not feel deprived. It was a good feeling. I like this thing called control! It feels good!

1/10/11 Food

chicken, bacon, guacamole sandwich: 13 pts
melon slices: 1 pt
chicken wraps: 12 pts
milk: 3 pts
100 calorie oreo: 1 pt

total points: 29 pts

water: 1.5 liters

exercise: 1 hour aerobics class

Sunday, January 9, 2011

1/9/11 Food

egg, potato and turkey sausage scramble: 4 pts
smart ones frozen meal: 5 pts
chicken soup: 5 pts
clementines: 1 pt
popcorn: 1 pt
egg noodles: 5 pts
elk: 5 pts
gravy: 3 pts
peas: 1 pt
milk: 2 pts
brownie: 1 pt

total points: 33

water: 1 glass & 2 liters

exercise: 1 mile w/ leslie sansone dvd

Saturday, January 8, 2011

1/8/11

I'm a bit overwhelmed by the love and support that my dear friends are showing me in my journey to lose this weight! One friend of mine has set up a fundraiser to "Get Kim an xbox 360 & Kinect"! All I can say is WOW!! I really never expected anything like that to happen. EVER! Knowing that I have friends that are here to support me and cheer me on is the biggest motivation that I could ever ask for. I'm so happy that in this day and age we have things like facebook and blogs, where we can share everything with the people that we care about most. If it weren't for things like this I know that it would be so much harder for me to be going through this. This isn't the first time that I've tried to lose weight. I've done it many times before, and every other time, the only support that I had was from my family. And living in a house with other overweight people, it's easy to get off track and lose sight of what your goals are. I'm happy to report that my husband is also losing weight with me. He's doing awesome and so far has lost over 30 lbs! He actually started before I did, it took me a little longer to get into the right state of mind.

The reasoning behind me wanting to get a kinect is that I really hate exercising. And, being a mom it's hard for me to find the time for myself to do it. Not to mention the motivation to do it. I think that's the biggest part, motivation. I have a friend that lives about 45 minutes from me that recently got the kinect and while I was at her house I fell in love with it! It gets you up off of the couch (or computer chair) and moving. Which is so important! And, its so fun that you don't realize that you just spent an hour working out, which is what it is, a workout! I'm still committed to going to the aerobics class three times a week, but I think this is what I need to boost things up a little bit. And to have a little fun too!

I did weigh myself this morning, I'm now down to 289! I'm so excited about that!!! No more 290s for me!! Goodbye, I never want to see you again!! I was thinking this morning about what I'm going to do with my clothes once they start falling off of me. Right now I wear a size 24 in jeans, which at 300 lbs barely snapped. Previously when I've lost weight I would keep all of my bigger clothes. Just in case. And, what do you know! I always got back up to that size again. This time I think I'll keep one pair of jeans and one shirt, that way I can have them as an example of what I never want to be like again. Then I'll get rid of all of the other ones. I have no need for something that will only keep me back. I don't want that comfort of knowing that I have them to fall back into around. I don't need that anymore. I'm ready to get on with my life and not be held back by my weight any longer.

As most everyone that has ever been overweight knows, it's not just about losing weight. It really is about dealing with issues that are holding you back and have held you back for so long. I've had some pretty traumatic things happen to me in my life. Things that I'm not going to go into right now. But, when I was younger and putting on all of this weight I always turned to food to deal with them. Maybe not in front of the whole world, I was the classic fat girl that never ate in front of other people. Always doing it in secret so that people wouldn't see me. I actually remember being a child in elementary school and making up lies saying that I was allergic to chocolate milk or something else, because I didn't want the other kids to look at me drinking it or eating fatty things. Then when I was older and in high school I practically never ate lunch at school. Maybe I'd bring something really small to snack on, but never an entire lunch. And then when school would let out and I was old enough to drive, I'd be at that drive-thru window or home eating tons of junk. I even remember when I was dating my husband I didn't really want to eat in front of him and after our date I'd go through the taco bell drive-thru on my way home. Like I said, the classic fat girl. Anyway, enough of that! I'm done with that, I can control myself and eat normally without going out of control. I can do it!

It's been an official week, I've lost 11 pounds! Here's to the next week!!

Food 1/8/11

egg white and turkey sausage scramble: 5 pts
potatoes: 3 pts
shrimp salad~
lettuce & tomatoes: 0 pts
shrimp: 1 pt
fat free sour cream and salsa dressing: 2 pts
black beans: 1 pt
corn: 1 pt
lean cuisine mushroom pizza: 6 pts
brownies: 3 pts (made w/ 2 c. pumpkin & a box of brownie mix)
random leftovers : 11 pts (it's amazing how long it takes to get through leftovers when you don't eat very much at a time!)
apple: 2 pts

total points: 35

water: 2.5 liters

exercise: 30 minutes of workout dvd

Since I'm down to 289 my points have gone down from 36 to 35!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

1/7/11

I went to a step aerobics class this morning. The first one in about nine years. I was probably a sight to see. I missed a lot of the steps and don't think I'm even able to move my body in some of the ways that they did, but I went. I did it. I'm not going to give up on it either. I'll probably never look like some of the women in that class, jumping around and moving super fast. But, I also carry a good 100+ pounds more then they do. So, I think I did good for me. I might have to come up with some revised moves for myself, I'll just make sure I stick to the back of the room instead of being right up in the front. It was fun though. It was nice to be moving around and it was really nice to not have my kids with me. That probably won't happen very often, but since my husband didn't have to work until late today, I took advantage of that and went by myself! Another bonus with that class is that it's free! They hold it at a local church building and kids are welcome. I think I live in a pretty awesome place!

I didn't weigh myself yet today, I'll probably wait till tomorrow to see how I am. I'm not expecting super fast weight loss anymore. 10 pounds in one week is amazing, but I doubt that I'll be able to do that well every week. Like I said before, I'll be happy with 2-3 pounds a week.

Here's to day seven!

Food 1/7/11

fiber bar: 2 pts
egg, bagel & turkey sandwiches: 8 pts
leftover chicken, veggies and rice: 7 pts
apple: 2 pts
cottage cheese & peaches: 2 pts
chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn & green beans: 13 pts
small candy: 2 pts

total: 36 pts

water: 3 liters

workout: 1 hour (although I didn't do a lot of the steps since I had no idea what I was doing, but at least I was there!)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

1/6/11

I had my husband take some before pictures for me yesterday. I didn't even think of doing it before, but I joined a weight loss group, so I needed some before pics. So, this is me, in all of my glory, without any makeup, at 291 lbs. Made sure to wear a short sleeve shirt to show off the extra fat arms... Ugh, I just thought of something. I remember being in High School and a guy told me that I had cute "potato arms" meaning that my arms are so fat that it looks like a potato above my elbow. What the heck? Why would he say some thing like that to me? I didn't take it as a compliment, just because you throw the word "cute" before something bad doesn't make it good. Anyway, here are the pics...
So, that's what almost 300 lbs looks like on a 5 foot 2 inch body. Scary, isn't it?

On a good note, I've met my first goal! I've officially lost 10 pounds! It's only been six days so far and I'm so happy about that! I can't wait to get to my next goal of 20 pounds! Yesterday I pledged to lose 50 lbs by May 31st on the biggest loser website. They are donating food to a food bank of my choice, which is the Idaho food bank, pound for pound of what I pledged. So, 50 lbs of food will be donated to people who need it, all because I'm going to lose 50 lbs, pretty good!! I think that's a nice motivation for me too, I have to remember that they have committed to donating the food, and I have to commit to losing the weight.

I was kind of worried about yesterday because I ate a lot of dinner. I was pretty hungry, so I piled my plate pretty high. I tried to take more of the veggies then anything else, but I guess the pure volume of food was messing with my head. I felt a bit bad after I ate it all. But, I was good and didn't eat any of the treats that were brought to a church activity last night. Although they were super cute! I just stuck with a cup of water. Much better for my butt. :)

Well, six days down, ten pounds of flubber gone, on to day seven....

Food 1/6/11

egg white, mushroom & potato scramble: 5 pts
cutie oranges: 1 pt
mini bagel turkey sandwich: 3 pts
leftover beans, veggies, rice and chicken: 7 pts
ww chocolate snack cake: 1 pt
cup of milk: 2 pts
venison steak: 3 pts
baked potato: 3 pts
broccoli: 0 pts
cheese: 1 pt
piece of chocolate: 1 pt
homemade low fat granola with fat free plain yogurt: 6 pts

total: 33 pts

water: 6 big glasses
2 glasses of crystal light (generic walmart version of the peach flavor, it's really yummy!)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

1/5/11

I got to get my hair done yesterday! That was my Christmas present from my mom and dad! I love the way it turned out! It's a great chocolate brown color and I don't have anymore gray hairs! At least for a month or two! It's funny that when I look at this picture of myself I look so much older then I look in my head. You know how sometimes people have a distorted self image. Well, I have a major one! Don't get me wrong, I still see a young looking person in this picture, but in my head I still look the same as I did when I was 18. When I look at this picture I see someone that is getting closer to 30, has a few wrinkles, basically someone my age, which will be 28 in March.

My self image is also not only affected by what age I think I look, but also by what size I think I look. I can only speak for myself, and I've been a big girl my entire life. Weighing in at over 200 lbs when I was only 12 years old. But, when I think of the way that I look, I don't see someone that is nearly 300 lbs. I see someone that is maybe 200 lbs. It's weird, it really is. You would think I'd see the opposite, but I don't. And when I'm looking at myself in the mirror I don't really think that I look all that bad. But that's when I'm actually wanting to look at myself. Not when I just get a glance of myself. If I see myself in pictures or if I see my reflection in a window or mirror when I'm not trying to look at myself, I see what you all see. Someone that is clearly very large. Someone that needs to lose a lot of weight. It's funny how self image is. I have a hard time trying to figure out how big I really am. When I look at other women that are probably about the same size that I am I think they are huge and I can't really fully grasp that that is how I look too. Again, it's just strange.

On another note, I've lost another 2 pounds! I'm down to 291 as of this morning! That's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself! Only one more pound and I'll be at my first goal of losing 10 pounds! Maybe it will happen in my first week! Yesterday before I left to get my hair done I ate breakfast and then wasn't really hungry to eat lunch before I left, so I didn't. By the time I got my hair done and went to do some shopping I realized that it was almost 6pm and I hadn't eaten anything else. So, I was really hungry, I started mixing up my words and stuff, that's how hungry I was. It was actually kind of funny. I knew that it would be a good 30 minutes before I'd be able to get back home and then another 30 or so after that before I'd be able to actually eat anything, so we decided to go get some Panda Express for dinner. I chose to get white rice, chicken in a sauce with zucchini and mushrooms and some beef in a sauce with peppers, onions and mushrooms. So, even though I had to eat out, I still tried to stay good. I could have had steamed veggies instead of rice, but when I was looking at them they didn't really look all that great and since I hadn't really eaten much in the day I chose to get the rice. Which was still better then the chow mein or fried rice that I could have gotten. When I got home I checked online on the nutritional facts of what I ate and calculated how many points I ate. And I was still under on my points for the day! Pretty good for "cheating"! Next time I go into town I'm going to bring some snacks with me though, that way I don't get so dang hungry!

Well, day five here I come!

Food 1/5/11

egg whites: 1 pt
small wheat bagel: 1 pt
turkey meat: 1 pt
cheese: 1 pt
potato: 3 pts
cutie oranges: 1 pt
taco salad: 10 pts
cutie oranges: 1 pts
fiber bar: 2 pts
chicken thighs, veggies, rice & beans: 16 pts

total: 37 pts

water: 7 big glasses

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Food 1/4/11

Life cereal with milk: 5 pts
banana: 2 pts
chinese food~
rice, chicken w/ veggies, beef w/ veggies: 20 pts
weight watchers snack cake: 1 pt
cutie orange: 1 pt

total points: 29 pts

water: 6 big glass

1/4/11

Weighed in again this morning and I'm down another pound. So, I'm down to 293! I can't wait to get out of the 290s! And by the rate that I'm going that might just be next week! I know that I'll lose a good amount this first week, but then it will cool down to a pound or two a week. Which I'm okay with, but I'd much rather lose closer to the 2-3 pound a week range. I'd like to lose about 10 pounds a month. That way, at the end of the year mark I'll be down a good 100+ pounds! So, my goals are in ten pound increments, hoping for that to be met monthly.

Thinking back on my eating habits I'm really ashamed of how bad they really were. Why on earth would I think that it's okay to be eating such things everyday. I mean, a typical day for me would be like this:

Breakfast~ 2 or 3 eggs, sausage or bacon (at least a couple of pieces) hash browns cooked in butter & toast with butter, sometimes two pieces. Hello? What the crap am I thinking that that is an okay thing to eat for breakfast every morning? No wonder I have a 5 year old son that is close to 80 lbs! Oh, and I need add in the dessert that I seem to think that I need to have after every meal, so add in a cookie to that breakfast too.

Snack~ (which if you were to ask me if I snacked, I would probably tell you that I didn't, because I mindlessly snacked on things all day long) handful or two or three of chips or crackers, not healthy crackers though, more like chicken in a biscuit crackers, do you have any idea how bad those are for you!?

Lunch~ Mac & Cheese, hot dogs, chips, maybe a piece of fruit. Typically, whatever the kids eat is what I'd eat. Something easy that I know that they would eat. But really, why should my kids eat like that?!

Snack~ a few cookies

Dinner~ Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, bread with butter. Things that are heavy and fat laden. I'm sure I'll still eat things similar to this, but made healthier.

Dessert~ cheesecake with milk and maybe another slice if I felt like it.

So, there you go. This would be a typical day of what I would have eaten. No wonder I weigh so dang much! I'm pretty ashamed to come out and tell everyone in the world that I ate so horribly, and this was only a couple of days ago! Not to mention how much worse it was during the holidays with all of the candies and treats that I was making! Yeah, these things taste good, but they surely aren't good for me! And I'm not saying that I will never eat these things again, but they can for sure be made healthier and I can for sure eat less of them.

Well, I guess what matters most is that I'm taking the steps to not eat so unhealthy any longer. I need to go to the store today and stock up on fruits and veggies, something that has kind of been nonexistent in my diet lately. Not on purpose or anything, I just don't have much in my house right now.

Three days down, seven pounds gone, on to day four!