Wake-Up Call

This was just taken a couple of days ago. Yes, I've gained a ton of weight back. No, this isn't a sweater I would normally wear. We were at an ugly sweater party and I borrowed one of my mother-in-law's Christmas sweaters. Maybe it just isn't that flattering on me. But, really look at my face, it's really fat and my entire body is swelled up. I knew that things weren't going that great. I haven't been caring what I've been eating lately, which is horrible. But, I didn't realize it was this bad. The last time I got on the scale I wasn't that much heavier than before. I'm pretty sure I had managed to only gain back 6 lbs at the time. But now... Oh man. Granted, I am finishing up "that time of the month" and I got on the scale after eating and with clothes on, it read 290. oh man. I've successfully gained back all but ten pounds that I had lost before. WHAT THE HECK!? Someone slap me now. Please. I'll be weighing myself in the morning tomorrow to see what my true weight is, but I don't expect it to be much different from what I saw today.

So, thank you to my friend that took this picture of me and my husband. I needed the wake-up call. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing this time around. And honestly, the idea of watching what I eat during Christmas is less than appealing to me. I want to be able to enjoy all of the treats. But, I guess I have to remind myself that some things are more important than eating treats. I'm thinking that for now I'm going to drink a smoothie in the morning, then a light lunch and a normal dinner, without the seconds that I've once again become accustomed to. And I'll try to stay away from the treats, but I'm going to be honest here. I will probably eat them, because it's Christmastime, but I'll try my hardest to stay sensible. Say a prayer for me. I really need them. This is something that I have to do. I can't keep living like this.