Saturday, January 8, 2011

1/8/11

I'm a bit overwhelmed by the love and support that my dear friends are showing me in my journey to lose this weight! One friend of mine has set up a fundraiser to "Get Kim an xbox 360 & Kinect"! All I can say is WOW!! I really never expected anything like that to happen. EVER! Knowing that I have friends that are here to support me and cheer me on is the biggest motivation that I could ever ask for. I'm so happy that in this day and age we have things like facebook and blogs, where we can share everything with the people that we care about most. If it weren't for things like this I know that it would be so much harder for me to be going through this. This isn't the first time that I've tried to lose weight. I've done it many times before, and every other time, the only support that I had was from my family. And living in a house with other overweight people, it's easy to get off track and lose sight of what your goals are. I'm happy to report that my husband is also losing weight with me. He's doing awesome and so far has lost over 30 lbs! He actually started before I did, it took me a little longer to get into the right state of mind.

The reasoning behind me wanting to get a kinect is that I really hate exercising. And, being a mom it's hard for me to find the time for myself to do it. Not to mention the motivation to do it. I think that's the biggest part, motivation. I have a friend that lives about 45 minutes from me that recently got the kinect and while I was at her house I fell in love with it! It gets you up off of the couch (or computer chair) and moving. Which is so important! And, its so fun that you don't realize that you just spent an hour working out, which is what it is, a workout! I'm still committed to going to the aerobics class three times a week, but I think this is what I need to boost things up a little bit. And to have a little fun too!

I did weigh myself this morning, I'm now down to 289! I'm so excited about that!!! No more 290s for me!! Goodbye, I never want to see you again!! I was thinking this morning about what I'm going to do with my clothes once they start falling off of me. Right now I wear a size 24 in jeans, which at 300 lbs barely snapped. Previously when I've lost weight I would keep all of my bigger clothes. Just in case. And, what do you know! I always got back up to that size again. This time I think I'll keep one pair of jeans and one shirt, that way I can have them as an example of what I never want to be like again. Then I'll get rid of all of the other ones. I have no need for something that will only keep me back. I don't want that comfort of knowing that I have them to fall back into around. I don't need that anymore. I'm ready to get on with my life and not be held back by my weight any longer.

As most everyone that has ever been overweight knows, it's not just about losing weight. It really is about dealing with issues that are holding you back and have held you back for so long. I've had some pretty traumatic things happen to me in my life. Things that I'm not going to go into right now. But, when I was younger and putting on all of this weight I always turned to food to deal with them. Maybe not in front of the whole world, I was the classic fat girl that never ate in front of other people. Always doing it in secret so that people wouldn't see me. I actually remember being a child in elementary school and making up lies saying that I was allergic to chocolate milk or something else, because I didn't want the other kids to look at me drinking it or eating fatty things. Then when I was older and in high school I practically never ate lunch at school. Maybe I'd bring something really small to snack on, but never an entire lunch. And then when school would let out and I was old enough to drive, I'd be at that drive-thru window or home eating tons of junk. I even remember when I was dating my husband I didn't really want to eat in front of him and after our date I'd go through the taco bell drive-thru on my way home. Like I said, the classic fat girl. Anyway, enough of that! I'm done with that, I can control myself and eat normally without going out of control. I can do it!

It's been an official week, I've lost 11 pounds! Here's to the next week!!

2 comments:

G Mathew Bass said...

Kim,

Thank you for your honesty! I also turned to food for a very long time due to childhood abuse. Food addiction was always my core issue. I started attending LDS 12 Step meetings in October 2009. These helped me to learn how to turn everything over to the Lord and allow him to help me. The church offers a 12 Step workbook through the Distribution Services store or on their website.

Elizabeth started attending the Unhealthy Eating Patterns Group in Orem late last year. I have seen such a difference in her! It's been great.

Elizabeth hit the 220s today. She was 297 at her highest. I'm very proud of her!

Remember to continue to take it one day at a time. We are proud of you and Todd for doing this! It will bring untold blessings to you and your family!

Mathew

Kim said...

Thanks Mat! I'm so happy for you two for getting to where you are today!